About a year ago, the singer's wife filed documents requesting that Usher's joint physical custody of their two children be removed. It is not said what conditions caused the ex-wife to make this request for a change to their custody agreement. Regardless, the ensuing child custody battle led to court ordered private mediation in order for the couple to come to a civil conclusion. If the couple is still unable to come up with a temporary agreement, the judge would impose a temporary agreement of his or her own.
]]> For many couples, divorce mediation is a way to make decisions required in a divorce -- from property division to child custody and support agreements -- without the arguing and negative feelings that can often be present in divorce disputes.Divorcing Florida couples having a difficult time agreeing may take a lesson from Usher and his ex-wife and consider mediation before issues are forced into the court. Especially when children are involved, stressed feelings and arguments can run counter to the best interests of the child. Solving disputes in a peaceful, mediated manner may work to maintain civil relationships that may work for the positive interest of the child.
Source: Monsters and Critics, "Usher and ex ordered to come to custody agreement through mediation," May 1, 2012
]]>Recently Sanders and his estranged wife filed for divorce, but it took a turn for the worse on April 23 when there was a fight at their household. Sanders has described it as a "kicking, biting and scratching attack," and police charged both with family assault in connection with the matter. His estranged wife was taken into custody and placed in jail for a night as well.
]]> As a consequence, the judge in their divorce has given Sanders temporary custody of the three children that he and his wife share. She has also been ordered to not come within 500 feet of their house. The children will undergo psychological counseling, and a full custody hearing has been scheduled for May 15.In any divorce, in Florida and elsewhere, tempers may run high, leading to shouting or even a physical attack. However, it is vital to stay in control and to stay calm as any inappropriate actions may reflect negatively on a person's divorce case, especially when child custody is one of the issues. That also may include avoiding commenting on the matter to friends, family and over social media. Overall, it may be a good rule of thumb to simply treat the other spouse with as much respect as possible while the divorce and child custody case is pending lest one damage their own case.
Source: Pensacola News Journal, "Deion Sanders gets win in court vs. wife," Robert Klemko, May 9, 2012
]]>Divorce is actually the solution to a problem: namely an unhappy, malicious or untenable marriage. Sure, there are emotional and financial consequences in the immediate aftermath of a divorce; but ultimately, a divorce allows many Florida residents to move on with their lives and it could help them reestablish their financial and emotional well-being in the long run. One such tactic that could help a splitting couple in this regard is divorce mediation, or collaborative law.
]]> Entering mediation is often cheaper than taking the traditional divorce route and it can help maintain good relations between the divorcing parties while they discuss contentious topics. Divorce mediation usually brings a lawyer, a mental health coach or psychological professional and a third-party financial consultant. Together with the divorcing couple, this team helps iron out the issues in a divorce in a collaborative environment.An added bonus of divorce mediation is that it usually keeps the split out of the courtroom. Sometimes divorce rulings are incompatible with the circumstances of the splitting parties. Some would call these divorce rulings as "one-size-fits-all." Collaboration gives the exes a chance to communicate their issues and reservations about the matters of their divorce and come to a sensible and mutually-agreeable solution.
Divorce is not a problem, nor are the side-effects of separation. Either through mediation or through a traditional divorce, the split can be the solution to many people's unfulfilling marriages.
Source: NOLA.com, "Collaboration a new alternative to divorce court," Renee Peck, April 23, 2012
]]>It is not only residents in Jacksonville, or any major Florida city for that matter, that need this service; which is why a recent decision by the state Department of Revenue to close two child support offices in Central Florida may cause some to raise an eyebrow.
]]> The state deals with about a million child support cases and is expected to save a shade over $850,000 over the next five years by closing the offices. A spokeswoman for the Department of Revenue admits that many people enjoy the ability to "come in and ask questions, especially if there are complex things going on in their case." She also said that about 3,000 customers per month are served at the two offices being closed, located in Kissimmee and Sanford.So what does this mean for residents in the counties of Osceola and Seminole (where Kissimmee and Sanford are located, respectively)? Some residents commented in the source article that it could be a "30-to-40 minute" drive now to address their child support concerns, while for others it could be as much as an hour. Not only will the child support payments be affecting their wallet, but lengthy trips to state offices will rack up gas bills as well.
Source: Orlando Sentinel, "State closing child-support offices in Kissimmee, Sanford," David Breen, April 23, 2012
]]>The issue of child custody is one of the most emotionally draining issues to settle in a divorce, as many Florida residents will tell you. For the sake and best interests of your son or daughter, though, you would do whatever you feel is necessary to make them happy.
]]> Maybe it is best to qualify that as "whatever you feel is necessary - within the law." One Texas woman seems to have blatantly disregarded both state and federal law by slapping a wiretap on her 9-year-old son and then letting him go to his dad's house with the equipment up and running.The woman and her ex-husband have been locked in custody dispute over their son since last year, and it appears the stress of the situation may have gotten to her. The recorder was discovered by the man who then filed a $10,000 lawsuit against his ex-wife for inflicting emotional distress and invasion of privacy.
The woman is apparently a private investigator and the man and his attorney claim that she obtained "very delicate conversations" with her wiretap. They also believe she sent the conversations to other people, possibly tampering with the child custody case.
Source: Houston Chronicle, "Pasadena man's lawsuit claims ex-wife planted recorder on son," Mike Tolson, April 18, 2012
]]>A 47-year-old man, who married a woman in late 2007, was sued by a different woman with whom he shared a previous sexual relationship for child support - all because he donated his sperm to her.
]]> It all began in 1991, when the 47-year-old met the plaintiff in a Texas apartment. They spent a decade together when, in 2001, the woman decided to move to California. Five years later, the 47-year-old donated his sperm to the woman so she could have children -- and indeed she did, giving birth to triplets in the summer of 2007.Just four months after the man got married to a different woman, he was hit with a child support suit by his former flame - and she won. The 47-year-old appealed the court's decision, but until it was heard, he had to pay child support. That day final came last month, when his appeal was upheld and the child support was overturned.
California law protects a woman who receives donated sperm from being sued down the line for paternity. The appellate court acknowledged this law and used it as a basis for their decision to reverse the woman's request for child support from the 47-year-old donor.
Source: Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, "California court says Texas sperm donor owes no child support," April 12, 2012
]]>The matters of divorce become far more intricate when one or both spouses in a marriage serve in the military. There are state and federal laws to consider, along with a variety of property and assets that need to be handled. In addition, active military members may be deployed while a divorce is ongoing. This can create unbalanced child custody arrangements for proud-serving soldiers since military deployments could be used against them by their spouse.
]]> The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act protects active military members from being hit with litigation, and federal officials are seeking to expand the act's reach with a new bill that would block judges from considering a military member's upcoming or current deployment in child custody rulings.The bill would also safeguard a military member from any temporary child custody arrangements made in light of a deployment. For example, if a solider is sent to Kuwait and it is agreed that the soldier's child be temporarily transferred to the custody of the ex-spouse during the deployment, the bill would ensure the soldier's custody rights are returned to their pre-deployment status.
To qualify as an active military member on deployment, the bill set deployment parameters of at least 60 days and at most 18 months of non-accompaniment with family members.
Source: Washington Post, "Proposal would protect custody rights during deployments," Timothy R. Smith, Mar. 19, 2012
]]>Many things changes for a child when his or her parents split. They must adjust to new schedules, new homes and new family dynamics. It can often disrupt a child's focus at school and their ability to complete their work. So academically, what is in the best interests of a child after a divorce?
]]> Divorce is an emotional time, and some children may start skipping out on their required schoolwork. They may go into school the next day and say they forgot it at their mom's or dad's house. This isn't a failure on your part as a parent -- but it serves as a reminder that after you and your spouse divorce, you both have equal responsibility in attending to your child's education.One way to assure your child stays on point academically is to emphasize homework. It may be tempting to play with your son or daughter during your scheduled time, but ensuring they complete their schoolwork should be the priority.
It will give your child a sense of structure and responsibility, two important factors for children after a divorce. Better yet, combine bonding time and homework time so that you can build a post-divorce relationship with your child while also seeing to it that they succeed at school.
Source: East Haddam Patch, "The Impact of Divorce on Academics," Susan Schaefer, Mar. 24, 2012
]]>However, it is not that simple. Marriage affords basic legal rights to a couple, establishing how each party gets what should they divorce. A prenuptial agreement is just an alteration to these basic guidelines. With cohabitation agreements, the contract sets an original legal outline of how a couple's assets are divided because cohabitation laws do not exist.
]]> What the AAML found is that couples who live together are increasingly getting cohabitation agreements. Nearly 40% of lawyers surveyed by the AAML noted an uptick in cohabitation agreement cases; and as marriage rates have hit record lows (the Pew Research Center says that 51% of all adults are getting married), couples are trying to protect their interests when they live with their partner.One big factor in cohabitation agreements is credit card debt. Cohabitating couples will sometimes share the debt of a credit card they both use, and if the relationship ends, one partner may seek reimbursement or legal action against the other. "One party can have a lot of credit card debt or student loans and the other party may want to make sure they are not liable for that," said one attorney.
Source: CNN Money, "Prenups aren't just for married couples anymore," Jessica Dickler, Mar. 20, 2012
]]>One Washington man is now aware of the risks posed by Facebook after his wife discovered the man's second wife through a "friend suggestion." The 41-year-old man married his first wife in 2001 only to change his name and leave her in 2009 without going through a divorce.
]]> The reason for remaining married is still unknown; but because of the man's decision to illegally marry a second woman while still bound to his first wife, he is facing charges of bigamy. The offense carries a year-long prison sentence.The Facebook "friend suggestion" isn't the only thing that connects the 41-year-old's wives. The first wife apparently got into an altercation with a woman in 2010, for which she was arrested. The woman she confronted turned out to be the second wife - though it appears that at the time, neither party was the wiser.
While acts of infidelity are never excusable - especially decisions that lead to illegal acts - this story points to how social media can impact a relationship or marriage, ultimately ending in divorce.
The spread of information through Facebook is not something you can entirely control. Sure, you have you privacy settings and you can choose not to post things to your profile, but the network established by Facebook can create inadvertent run-ins that generate controversy and consequences.
It is a reminder that what you and others post on Facebook is very public and "outward facing" - and such information could be used against you in divorce proceedings.
Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune, "Discovery by woman using Facebook leads to bigamy charges against Washington man," Manuel Valdes, Mar. 10, 2012
]]>Child custody and child support are two hotly-debated topics in a divorce, but they are hardly the only issues on the table. This can lead to future arguments and a feeling of resentment towards your ex-spouse. It may not be readily apparent at the time, but this indirectly complicates any communication you have with your former wife or husband.
]]> Your child can perceive these fallout moments, and no matter the outcome of the argument, your child perceives the tension and it impacts their relationship with you. "A lot of the bad things that are said are not meant to be bad, but they are toxic to a child, whether he's 6 or 16," said one child psychologist.If these types of situations are going on while filing for divorce, your soon-to-be-ex could use it against you in an attempt to win custody. Remember that working together and remaining civil with your ex-spouse can only help your case for custody or child support.
To combat these divisive arguments after the divorce, create a stable schedule that allows your son or daughter to develop consistency with his or her new post-divorce life.
Another way to help your child make it through a divorce is to create a parenting plan with you ex-spouse. You should consult with an attorney on this matter, but the collaboration allows both of you to air frustrations and come to a common ground on how the child's time will be managed.
Source: St. Louis Today, "Stability, consistency support children of divorce," Janice Denham, Feb. 29, 2012
]]>Divorced in 2010, Kelsey and Camille traded barbs over the past year-and-a-half over how custody of their son and daughter would be settled. In May, Kelsey applied for sole physical custody of both children. That was promptly changed to a split custody filing - where Kelsey would have custody of their 7-year-old son, and Camille would have custody of their 10-year-old daughter.
]]> Camille did not agree to this proposal. She lives in Los Angeles, California while Kelsey resides in Chicago, Illinois. Today, though, the feuding couple agreed to joint child custody. According to court documents, Kelsey will have "meaningful contact" with his children while they stay in Los Angeles with Camille.It would appear - at least from the outside looking in - that during this dispute, Kelsey and Camille may not have necessarily had the best interests of their children in mind. This can happen with any divorcing couple - both parties want to see their children as much as possible.
In court, a judge will keep the best interests of a child in mind when making a ruling on custody. However, these rulings can sometimes leave little room for negotiation and their rigid guidelines could upset one of the spouses, who would lack any legitimate recourse once the case is complete.
This is why legal representation is crucial during divorce. It is not just for the obvious reasons of protecting your assets and rights, but also to make sure your custody concerns are taken into account and ultimately realized.
Source: Arizona Central, "Kelsey Grammer and Camille settle child custody case," Feb. 29, 2012
]]>What does this have to do with divorce? Well a new study was concluded by the Florida State University College of Business that links daily stress and poor family support with impending divorce.
]]> Researchers asked 400 couples about their relationship and how much daily stress they felt, using their answers to come to conclusions about stress and divorce. Both partners in these couples had a full-time job.According to the study, couples who failed to recognize the work-related stresses of their significant other, lacked open communication and habitually complained about work have less satisfying relationships. They also are less alert at work and have reduced productivity when on the job.
What's more, the lead author of the study believes these unhealthy behaviors can lead to the end of a relationship. "When stress enters any relationship, it has the potential to either bind people together or break them apart," he said. Ultimately, though, he believes that couples who are willing to go that extra bit and show support to their spouse can improve their relationship, especially during your worst days.
"Generating the mental and emotional resources needed to help when your own tank is empty is often difficult. Successful couples almost always kept a steady supply of support resources on reserve to be tapped on particularly demanding days," he said.
Source: ANI, "Couples vying on whose office day was worse 'may end up in divorce,'" Feb. 19, 2012
]]>A new issue can arise with this situation if you change the context. What if the argument happened via text message? Now, that controversial statement you made is on record and can be used as a definitive point of reference for your thoughts on any matter - like, say, your divorce.
]]> Yes, cell phone evidence is on the rise in divorce cases, accounting for roughly 62% of evidence in divorce cases. That is nearly three times more than the next closest form of evidence - emails, which also can be accessed on many cell phones.The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers provided more information on the matter of cell phone evidence in divorce cases with a recent survey. The report encompassed many attorneys in the U.S. and 94% of respondents said their divorce cases had an increased amount of text message evidence over the past few years.
"As smartphones and text messaging become main sources of communication during the course of each day, there will inevitably be more and more evidence that an estranged spouse can collect," the president of AAML said. "Texts, emails, and Facebook posts have removed a lot of the he said/she said ambiguity from the divorce process because they represent written documentation."
It is certainly something to keep in mind when you consider your conduct before, during and after your divorce proceedings. A text message can be used against you, turning your child custody, child support or financial asset case against you when going through the legal process of a divorce.
Source: MSNBC, "Divorce lawyers see more phone evidence, especially texts," Athima Chansanchai, Feb. 10, 2012
]]>We talked about the ins and outs of divorce mediation on this blog last month. It can be a nice alternative route when filing for divorce that reduces the amount of stress on the splitting parties and can even foster a cooperative atmosphere when handling the delicate family issues involved in a divorce proceeding.
]]> This potential move could be the start of a new trend that favors divorce mediation over traditional methods of dealing with a separation. Will the trend cross the pond and see legal enactment here in the U.S.? It is possible but in the meantime divorce mediation is a good option for separating couples who are looking for a potentially more amicable divorce process.The proposal in the U.K. may also include parental agreements to bolster a child's rights and abilities to maintain relationships with both of their parents. The yet-to-be enacted law will make exceptions for cases of domestic violence where the couple will not have to go through divorce mediation meetings.
With alimony reform in full swing here in the U.S. - including pending legislation here in Florida - it seems there is a movement to modernize family law. This potential law in the United Kingdom will put a spotlight on the merits and methods involved in divorce mediation, and this collaborative process could see increased popularity.
Source: UK Daily Mail, "Separating couples 'will have to go to mediation' before being granted divorce," James Chapman, Feb. 7, 2012
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